At 36 weeks and 5 days I find myself staring at the end zone of my pregnancy.  Hooray!  What have I gotten myself into?!  To stretch (haha) the football metaphor a little too far, one could say now that I'm in the red zone, there's no way I'm not going to score.  One way or another, baby Owen is making his debut in about a month.

The nursery is almost done – all the 0-3 month clothes are washed and tucked away, the newborn sized diapers here and ready to be strapped onto his tiny hiney.  Let me tell you, those diapers are teeny!  I giggled when I opened the package to look at them, they're like little postage stamp diapers.  Hopefully he won't grow out of them too soon, I'd like to have a baby on the small size please!  At least when he comes OUT.

Ahhh, the part where he comes out… that is the part I'm not really looking forward to.  On one hand, I am looking forward to it as it will mean pregnancy is over and I get to hold my brand new little baby for the first time.  On the other hand, I sort of have an aversion to pain.  Especially pain 'like I've never felt before.'  However, I am going to do this the natural way with no drugs, as that is so much better for me and the baby than with an epidural or a planned c-section.  God willing, I won't have to have an emergency c-section to get him out safely.  Planning to have Owen in a birthing center instead of a hospital, with a midwife instead of a Doctor-with-a-capital-D, is what my husband and I decided very early on.

I know I'm going to be more comfortable at the birthing center with my midwife than I would be at a hospital.  Ahhh, I can't wait to try out the big tub!  Having freedom to do what we need to do during labor to be comfortable and effective is what I want, and what I'm going to get.  There have been no complications so far, and I'm anticipating none (though always prepared for the unexpected, I suppose), so everything should go fairly smoothly.  So, do I sound like I'm trying to convince myself yet?  I keep vacillating between scared and prepared.  I hope that's normal!

So, I begin this journal as well, here at the end of pregnancy.  I got one of those “Pregnancy Journal” things that you're supposed to fill out with tons of info about the pregnancy and you and your husband, but I didn't do it.  I feel guilty when I look at it in the cupboard I stashed it in.  Then I close the door on it.  But hopefully I will keep up with this online journal and record at least some of my thoughts at this VERY special time of my life.  If I'm anything like my mother I won't remember this stuff twenty years from now unless its written down.

Now that's a weird thought – blogging being around 20 years from now.  I'm sure by then we'll be beaming our thoughts directly onto datapads or something like that.  And baby Owen will be 19 and in college.  Wow!